Alfred's Special Relationship
by Teenage Mouse
Summary: Arthur and Alfred have a very meaningful friendship. And yet it's nothing compared to Alfred's "special" relationship with his virtual girlfriend in a dating sim game. Really, it's in Alfred's best interests if Arthur sneaks into his house and destroys that stupid game. The fact that he's jealous doesn't have anything to do with it. ...Not much, anyway.


Alfred's Special Relationship

Alfred had a meaningful friendship with Arthur. It was hard to really qualify it with adjectives that didn't make it sound too gay: '_special_' friendship, '_deep_' friendship, '_fulfilling_' friendship – they all sounded just a bit too…gay. '_Meaningful_' was probably the safest bet, Arthur decided.

Not that he would have much of an _issue_ having a gay sounding relationship with Alfred, if Alfred wanted one. A _special_ relationship, a '_deep_' relationship, a'_fulfilling_'relationship…

But the problem was that it was just a _friend_ship, not a _relation_ship. A friendship couldn't be gay – only relationships could. And it was a very non-gay friendship.

So, no. No meaningful _relation_ship between Alfred and Arthur. Just a meaningful _friend_ship.

And Arthur was kind of annoyed about that.

He probably could have lived with it. Maybe not forever, but probably for some time, given his incredible ability to repress and deny all emotions.

But the thing was, there was something that Alfred valued just as much as (and sometimes Arthur questioned if it wasn't _more_ than) his friendship with Arthur. And Arthur grew so furious, that he couldn't deny any longer that he was jealous.

Alfred just had a very '_special_' relationship with his virtual girlfriend…

"Special" in a very sad way. "Special" in the way where you use the word "special" because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings by saying what you really think.

Arthur had told Alfred exactly what he thought of this virtual girlfriend when Alfred admitted to the whole thing. (Although, it must be said, that this was before Arthur knew just _exactly_ what he felt for Alfred, and how jealous he really was – so maybe it wasn't _all_ of exactly what he thought about the matter. But certainly most of what he thought: mainly, that it was ridiculous.) But Alfred had looked so hurt – betrayed, in fact – and just plain _tragic_, that Arthur had to give in. He settled for one snide comment a day, but that was about it.

So he wasn't allowed to be mean to Alfred about his special relationship with a computer program.

But he was far from letting this go entirely.

It was all Kiku's fault! That's right!_ He_ was the one who got the dating sim game for Alfred in the first place. How _dare_ he?! Arthur would just have to give him a piece of his mind. And another and another, until Kiku realised his mistake and took that blasted game away!

Although…well, it was rather rude to make Kiku the scapegoat for Alfred's crazy addiction. It's not like the Japanese boy had known that this would happen. And, it's not like he knew he was screwing Arthur over so badly, when Arthur himself hadn't known at the time how he really felt about Alfred…

But still, someone had to pay! So, let's see. It was Alfred's fault, and Kiku's fault, and…

And _Iggy's_!

_Iggy…_

Even when he said the name in his head, his inner voice was grinding its non-existent teeth. Oh, how he loathed her.

What kind of name was "Iggy", anyway? Don't get Arthur started!

And those bunches in her hair! What was she, _4_? And the little pleated red-check skirt and blouse – that was how little girls dressed for school. Ugh, did Alfred really fall into the dirty old man category at only 16?! And why did she need to wear _glasses_ – did Alfred think glasses were sexy? Psht, anyone can just go out and buy glasses! Arthur even proved it by going out to do just that, although he wasn't sure he got his point across. (He kind of forgot what the point of it was, to be honest. Something about making Alfred notice him instead of the computer for a change.)

What did Alfred _see_ in her, anyway?! She was awful!

After a lot of persuading and arguing and maybe a few tears, Alfred had _finally_ agreed to show Arthur the game. It had taken him a month to even fess up to why he was staying inside all summer and avoiding his friends. Then another few weeks of pestering before he showed Arthur the game. And even _then_, Arthur was only allowed to watch for about 10 minutes, and then never again. Alfred had kept it all so secret – like he was ashamed of it – and yet it was all he talked about once he admitted to it! Arthur just didn't get it.

Especially when he saw the dating sim in action. Going back to the whole "she was awful thing" – she really was _awful_! Iggy was rude, grumpy, mean, patronising, condescending, stuck up and snobby – who could stand a _real_ girl like that, let alone one you can't even touch or kiss to make up for the bad attitude?!

It honestly staggered Arthur. Here was Alfred, possibly the most attractive and nice and kind and charming and, did he mention, attractive guy on the planet (though Arthur may be a bit biased – it was hard to be neutral about Alfred when you were standing close to him). He could have any girl he set his sights on. And he'd chosen…a fake one? One who couldn't appreciate him, or love him back, or touch that perfect body? It was just all a crime. A sin, in fact. And something _had_ to be done!

And so, Arthur Kirkland devised a plan. It was cruel. But desperate times caused for desperate measures. And it wasn't like he was doing this just because he was jealous! That was the _furthest_ thing from his mind! His friend was addicted to a video game – a virtual girl who was ruining his social life! And Alfred's grades would surely suffer, too, once school started up again after summer break. It was in Alfred's best interests that Arthur sneak in through his friend's bedroom window, and destroy the game…

And nobody could tell him otherwise. (Mainly because he didn't tell anyone about his plan.)

Arthur called Alfred on his cell phone, telling him to come over to his house right away because it was an _emergency_, no time to explain! He was quite a brilliant actor, judging by Alfred's panicking voice and scrambling out of the room. And watching from his hiding spot in the bushes by Alfred's house, seeing the American race out of the door with only one shoe on, Arthur realised he could go professional – in voice acting at the very _least_.

He climbed expertly up the trellis outside Alfred's bedroom (years of practice, since they both got grounded so often) and snuck in through the open window. He turned immediately to the computer, which was glowing softly, a colourful scene paused on the screen.

Arthur sat down, ready to eject the disc, break it in half and put it back again (it was pretty obvious sabotage, but Alfred would never know it was him). But the scene behind the word "Pause" caught Arthur's eye and made him freeze.

That wasn't Iggy. That was…him!

Warily, Arthur brought his hand up to the mouse and clicked back into the game.

"Oi! Git! Why did you pause? You can't just shut me off whenever you want, you know! If you can't handle being around me, just tell me so!"

The words appeared across the bottom of the screen, little blips sounding as the letters appeared – a pathetic substitute for a human voice.

Arthur was a little…confused. But also a little impressed. The picture was a generic school corridor, overlaid with an anime style version of himself – it was obvious because it was so well done. The crossed arms, the grumpy expression, the frowning eyebrows – it all captured him quite perfectly. Not that he looked like that _all_ the time! It was just a good imitation of those moments when he was despairing of the people around him.

The words, too – it sounded just like something he would say. …In that "despairing of the people around him" scenario, of course. He wasn't always that grumpy and rude.

There was just one problem: he didn't think his eyebrows were _that_ big. Someone must have exaggerated a little.

…Someone…

Kiku hadn't bought this game. He couldn't have! Someone must have _made_ it!

The words "Why aren't you saying anything?" appeared across the screen, replacing the previous text.

The virtual Arthur changed. Now he looked dejected, shoulders slumped, face wincing almost as if he were flinching away from the answer he expected. The graphics even made Arthur started twiddling his thumbs with nerves. He looked so awkward and nervous and hurt – Arthur was sure he never looked that pathetic in real life.

"If…If you want to stop dating…just tell me. We can go back to being friends, if that's what you'd prefer. I just…want to stay by your side, Alfred."

What…the…fu-

"A-Arthur!"

Arthur leapt in his seat as if electrocuted. He crashed back down, stood up with a jerk, and sent the the swivelling computer chair spinning away and falling to the floor beside Alfred's bed.

"A-A-Alfred!"

Alfred stood in the doorway, looking white as a ghost, and just as horrified as if he'd seen one. His eyes darted from the Arthur on screen to the Arthur in his room, but he couldn't read the computer text from so far away. But he could see the hurt look on the virtual Arthur's face, and knew he only looked so vulnerable when he was being honest about his feelings.

At any other time, Alfred would be delighted that his virtual Arthur was being honest. He'd had to work very hard to win him round, after all. But having virtual Arthur talk about his special relationship with Alfred, in front of _real_ Arthur, making it _very_ obvious that Alfred had some special feelings for him? Uh…not so delightful.

"What about…Iggy?" asked Arthur, forgetting to grind his teeth over her name in his bewilderment.

"She's…not real," said Arthur, watching both the real and virtual Arthur look shyly at the floor, twiddling their thumbs. "I mean, she's not even part of the game. Kiku made a little demo of her when you wanted to see the game I was playing."

"Why couldn't you show me the _real_ game?" Arthur asked, instantly realising the answer and wishing he'd kept his mouth shut.

"Because…you'd be mad…"

They both looked down at the carpet.

"I was…practicing…"

Arthur looked up and watched Alfred shift from foot to foot. "I…was too scared to ask you out or anything. I didn't know if you liked me the way I like you, but even if you did I wouldn't know how to make you happy. You're…kinda hard to deal with sometimes. I told Kiku about it and he made this game so I could practice. Until I felt confident enough I could handle the real deal. Or just in case, you never felt the same way…"

Arthur realised that Alfred had also looked up, and now they were staring at each other.

It was too nice, too open of a stare for him just now, so he turned his into a glare.

"You wasted an entire summer practicing going out with a computer game, when you could have had the real thing? Don't you think that real experience is a better teacher?"

Alfred blinked. "But I don't just wanna _practice_ on you!" he exclaimed, then blushed at the dubious sounding words. "I mean…I wanted to sweep you off your feet! I wanted you to really like me, not for me to keep messing you up and pushing you away!"

"Idiot!" Arthur barked, stepping forward and giving Alfred a swift bash to the top of the head. "If I've put up with you this long, what makes you think I couldn't handle a few bad dates?"

"You…You want to?" Alfred stammered, forgetting to rub his bruised head in favour of staring hopefully, unbelievingly, at the boy in front of him.

"Well, I…That is to say I…might not be too averse to…having a little go myself at us dating. Since you seem to enjoy it so much. And if it's…really that fun."

Alfred froze – and then a spark of energy seemed to shoot through his body from his toes to his head. The force of it made him literally bounce up on the balls of his feet, and the spark lingered in his eyes.

"It's the most fun I've ever had. I can't _wait_ to show you." He smiled, then paused thoughtfully and grinned. "_If_ you think you can handle my mad new skills. I've had so much practice, remember? Bet I'll be _waaaay_ better at this than you are."

Arthur smirked. "Oh, I think I can catch up. I assure you, you're just getting started."

And with that, he stood on tiptoes, pressed a kiss against Alfred's lips, and stalked out of the room with his head held high – leaving Alfred dazed, swooning, and wondering if virtual Arthur had actually prepared him for anything at all…

* * *

**A/N:**

Written for the USxUK Olympics on LiveJournal.

Alfred x dating sims about Arthur x stalker!Arthur is my love triangle of choice.


End file.
